1. For no reason
whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time
they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new
car.
3. Occasionally
your car would die on the freeway for no reason and you would just
accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally,
executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut
down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall
the engine.
5. Only one person
at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "Car NT."
But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would
make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast,
and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of
the roads.
7. The oil, water
temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single
"general car default" warning light.
8. New seats
would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag
system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally
for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and refuse to
let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require
all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road
maps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they would immediately cause
the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would
become a target for investigation...by the Justice Department.
12. Every time
GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive
all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
13. You'd press
the "start" button to shut off the engine!
