Blamestorming
Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
Chainsaw Consultant
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving
the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm
An office filled with cubicles.
404
Someone who's clueless "Don't bother asking him; he's 404."From the
WWW error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't
be located.
Keyboard Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Ohnosecond
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a big mistake.
Prairie Dogging
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's
heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOM
What a married corporate couple turn into when they have children and
one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single
Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Starter Marriage
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property
and no regrets.
Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic
strip is worn away from extensive use.
Tourists
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs.
"We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
Treeware
Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Going Postal
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, or losing it. (Makes reference
to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped
and gone on shooting rampages.)
Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or
work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Assmosis
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement
by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially
in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions
and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.
Crapplet
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30
minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
Dancing Baloney
Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless and serve simply
to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing
baloney will help."
Generica
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter
where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city
we were in."
Irritainment
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself
unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials/Bill Clinton's most recent
sex scandals were/are a prime example.
Midair Passenger Exchange
Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair passenger
exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain."
PEBCAK
Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard."
(Customer Support can be a frighteningly thankless task sometimes. To
help pass the time and ease frustrations a little "Techies" have created
numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who
call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation
on the above is ID10T "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.")
Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get
it to work again.
Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything
and then leaves.
Uninstalled
Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president
at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled
vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for
assistance." See also Decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch
The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys
for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer
involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the
Return key and the Power On key.
